Ubiquitous AIM Profile Quote

I'm sure most of you have seen this already, but since I'm in a nostalgic mood today, I thought I'd post this quote:

"Then they ask me where I went to college, and I say 'Tulane', and their excited expression turns to shame and all they can manage to get out is "oh," because instantly they know no story they can tell can top what I have done. I do not need to say a thing, they just understand. They know that their wildest night of college, is just a regular Wednesday for us. Us Tulane Kids are a special breed, and trust me, everyone else is jealous."
-- Anonymous

Post Scripts...

A Nice Katrina Tribute

I found this link from MJF's profile. Click on the title of the post for what I consider to be a fairly decent tribute to the city of New Orleans and all the victims of Katrina.

Post Scripts...

Dance with You

Sometimes it's a song. These are the lyrics to Dance with You by Live.

---------
Sittin' on the beach
The island king of love
Deep in Fijian Seas
Deep in some blissful dream
Where the goddess finally sleeps
In the lap of her lover
Subdued in all her rage
And I'm aglow with the taste of the demons driven out
And happily replaced with the presence of real love
The only one who saves

I wanna dance with you
I see a world where people live and die with grace
The karmic ocean dried up and leaves no trace
I wanna dance with you
I see a sky full of the stars that change our minds
And lead us back to a world we would not face

The stillness in your eyes
Convinces me that I
I don't know a thing
And I been around the world and I've tasted all the wines
A half a billion times came sickened to your shores
You show me what this life is for

I wanna dance with you
I see a world where people live and die with grace
The karmic ocean dried up and leave no trace
I wanna dance with you
I see a sky full of the stars that change our minds
And lead us back to a world we would not face

In this altered state
Full of so much pain and rage
You know we got to find a way to let it go

Sittin' on the beach
The island king of love
Deep in Fijian Seas
Deep in the heart of it all where the goddess finally sleeps
After eons of war and lifetimes
She smilin' and free, nothin' left
But a cracking voice and a song, oh lord

I wanna dance with you
I see a world where people live and die with grace
The karmic ocean dried up and leave no trace
I wanna dance with you
I see a sky full of the stars that change our minds
And lead us back to a world we would not face


Post Scripts...

On Brewing Felix Felicis; Part II.i

I don't know about you, but I've been wondering if Part III is ever going to come. In light of this, I thought I'd post myself an explanation. It might not make much sense, but that's the way things are of illumination; at first blinding, then simply an annoyance. Hopefully, though, my own eyes will become adjusted. Feel free to turn away now, as this is a chain of thoughts likely to leave a mark not only on the bedposts.

I cannot justify posting a conclusion until that conclusion is clear. In the beginning, one can often get by in claiming he understands a thing but just can't put it into words. Eh...fuck that. If you cannot put it into words, your own words, you not only don't understand the concept but it is of no use to you even in an non-understood form.

The problem is these past four days have been extremely bitter-sweet. Bitter, because life has sucked something fierce. What better way to experience a phenomena than when submerged in its antithesis? And, truly, the moments the clouds clear have been some of the most breath taking (pun, or rather, hint intended). But, my lack of concentration has been few and far between. Something strike you as a bit off? Concentration is a hindrance. I've been stuck in old ruts, focusing in on my work, or my breath, or what-have-you. In a paradigm shift, nearly all the old rules still work. So I've tended to resort back to them this past weekend as certain issues cropped up. But some heavy things have been gaining mass. On this ratio scale of pursuit to the zero point, I cannot tell how far I've left to go. But I can mark that even in the frustrations I had this past weekend, progress was made.

However, now I realize why I first thought it better to not even attempt this strand of posts. In addition to writing as if I were tripping acid, traveling along these paths causes a blurring of realities (yeah, the circles). Like this current concept I'm trying to address, I first came up with a lot of false conclusions about the circles before really putting my mind, and sanity, to the task of figuring them out. While I won't tangent off to a subplot about those, suffice it to say that they bring out the best and worst, not necessarily in that order. But, as I believe the worst of the "*poofing*" is past, perhaps some good will come of it yet.

Anyways, my mind is clear now, which means my goal is accomplished. I've explained some things to myself and will hopefully be posting Part III soon. Sorry if this sounded a bit unlike myself...or, for that matter, a bit too much like myself.

Namaste'.

Post Scripts...

Autumn

On Brewing Felix Felicis; Part II

Before I continue with my own observations, I'd like to bring to the forefront three points.

The first is on the (in my opinion) humurous title of this thread. As I'm fairly sure most people reading this post know, Felix Felicis is a potion from the Harry Potter series. It's translated as "lucky of lucky" or even "happy of happy." In thinking about the course of events, and this is a bit of a foreshadowing of my conclusion, I realized a lot of it had to do with intuitions. For those that have read the sixth book in the series and thought that the effects of the potion were on the external world, it may be worth a re-read as I found it increadibly interesting how the effects were actually internal. It takes that little voice inside our heads that is rarely loud enough to heed, but always results in what's best for us, and amplifies it above all the conflicting voices. For a piece of fiction aimed at the younger market (ok, not entirely), Rowling does an amazing job at logically constructing a manner in which a potion, once injested, brings about "luck."

The second is from the book Open Secret, by Wei Wu Wei (a pen name). Take it however you like:
"'Pure Thought' is seeing things as they appear -- without arguing (thinking) about them, just 'seeing, seeing, seeing,' as Rumi said. Above all, without inference."

And finally, and here's what will test your patients, this is a quote by the buddhist Tsultrim Gyamtso from a talk given in 1997. Forgive the length, but I found it increadibly relevant. And yes, I'll add my own opinion soon.

Now you have got what's so hard to get
The precious freedoms and advantages
This one life alone means so little
So why be so obsessed with it?
If to do some good for yourself and others too
You listen to Dharma, and then reflect
Then you are so fortunate–
This is what it means to be lucky.

This life is quite impermanent
It will definitely disappear
You think everything will stay just as it is–
How to come out from this confusion into the clear?
Cut the root of samsara's confused appearances
By meditating on the meaning of what you've heard
If you do this, you are so fortunate--
This is what it means to be lucky.

If you do good, you'll be happy
If you do bad, you'll suffer pain.
Think well about how karma works
And you'll gain certainty that it's an unfailing law.
If then you act in a rightful way
Doing what you should do and giving up the rest
Then you are so fortunate–
This is what it means to be lucky.

The nature of samsara is the three sufferings
When you know this in your heart, and it's not just something you say
And so you can free yourself and others from samsara's ocean
You cut off suffering right at the root
If you can do that, then you are so fortunate–
This is what it means to be lucky.

Meditating on impermanence
Cuts off attachment to this life
Thinking over and over of samsara's suffering
Makes you realize how worthless samsara is
This gives you the determination
To strive for nirvana's liberation
If you do that, you are so fortunate--
This is what it means to be lucky.

Knowing samsara's cause is belief in 'I'
You know its remedy to be selflessness
So if you apply scripture and reasoning
To gain certainty that there is no self
And if you meditate on selflessness, you're so fortunate–
This is what it means to be lucky.

All beings have been your father and mother
Knowing this you train your mind in love and compassion
This makes you stop worrying so much
About your own comfort and happiness
When you give rise to supreme bodhicitta–
This is what it means to be lucky.

Everything in samsara and nirvana,
Without exception, is neither one nor many
So all phenomena are empty of essence
And knowing that, if you meditate on profound emptiness
Then you are so fortunate–
This is what it means to be lucky.

Meditating on emptiness cuts the root of existence
Love and compassion free you from the extreme of peace
When you bring together wisdom and means
That are stuck in neither existence nor peace's extremes
Then you are so fortunate–
This is what it means to be lucky.

When you've made the Mahayana path your sturdy base
And you know so excellently
The way that the totality of appearance
Is an infinite expanse of purity
Then the four empowerments
Will ripen your continuum
When you practice profound creation and completion–
This is what it means to be lucky.

The fruit of this creation and completion
Must ripen at the appropriate time
This depends on your pure vision
Of your vajra brothers and sisters--it must increase!
So if pure vision dawns in your mind–
This is what it means to be lucky.

Another reason you might be lucky–
The freedoms and resources, this excellent base
Is hard to find, and what's harder than that
Is using it to practice Dharma correctly
So if you are on the path of correct practice–
This is what it means to be lucky.

Knowing what it means to be lucky
Day and night, without distraction
In order to accomplish great benefit
For the teachings and for all beings
May all of us practice
The Dharma of the lucky ones.

Post Scripts...

On Brewing Felix Felicis; Part I

I figure to remove as much hype as possible and, hence, not deflate the actual point I've been thinking about, I had better post what I've got so far. Thus, in response to NRZ and Megan's requests, here is part I.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I first moved up here, I noticed that things kept happening towards very odd ends. These weren't bad things; in fact, they were the best possible circumstances that could occur. In trying to format this post, I thought I had previously put something on here about the series of fortunate events. In looking back through, I realized I had never actually "published" one that hit on the issue, as, even at that time, I just couldn't find the right words for it. From describing big situations such as getting hired at RT on the basis of a 6 minute conversation with the GM after they had lost my application and, essentially, getting an 80 in a 65 speeding ticket dropped from one cold call, to the smallest things like having a free tv stand, two lamps, a microwave stand, an end table, and a bookcase come across my path, I kept running into the problem that no list of events would suffice to convey the complexity of the big picture. This is because the truely astounding moments happened in the blink of an eye, the effects of which didn't register consciously. However, their cumulative effects far outweigh the positive outcomes of the "notable" events. Here's an excerpt from the previous post, reflecting what I felt, at the time, could be responsible for the circumstances:

8/11/05 - Honestly, the recent situations have been rather "spooky" in the way things have been happening. Is it the positive expectations that bring out the positive outcomes? I've noticed things happening like this the most when dealing directly with people, so maybe it's that I've been a bit more open with individuals I've met; they, in turn, are a bit more understanding with me. Or possibly it's just that, since I don't really have much to do up here and nowhere to be anytime soon, I'm just taking things moment by moment and dealing with them however they need to be dealt with right now.

One interesting note, though, is that this general feeling was lost. It happened about the time orientation for my department occured. After that, through my courses and, a week or so later, when work at RT started, it was as if I had used up all my "luck" and felt as if in a confrontation with Life. Similar to the excerpt above, at the time I could only attribute this to the fact that the strawman 'Jeff' was put in front of me. The introductions and small talk brought out the worst in me, as I always felt I was trying to present the best possible 'Jeff' for people to meet. This naturally failed, but what I didn't realize is that in trying to be 'me,' I was inherently hiding the 'Jeff' that was trying to put forward the best possible 'Jeff.' How hard of a concept is that to ignore, right? Once this was realized, and consequently, I realized that this volition was also not part of who I wanted to be, regardless of how people percieved me, things started taking a turn back to way they were. For the past week and a half, things have tended towards those perfect ends again. It's not as prolific as it was, but it is getting more and more frequent.

So, after coming to one conclusion during the first period of this experiment, and a second one during the off-peak portions, now I have the luxury of experiencing both states within the same time period. This has afforded me the objectivity of not being either manic or frustrated, and, as such, I've been putting effort into finding out the big question; Why?

Post in Progress

Sorry for not posting my continued thought from below. It's not for lack of trying. I put a little time into getting my thoughts out again tonight, and saved the draft. It's getting close to being ready, but clearity on the issue only comes for a few moments before getting all muddled again. I should say now that one shouldn't get any expectations as to this post. It's not going to even be that good. Trust me. But it is of interest to me, and that's the only reason I'm putting time into it. But I have linked the title of this post to what turns out to be my first post on this line of thoughts. There's also an unpublished post on the same line from the 11th of August that I'm using parts of, but I couldn't find the words even then, so I never ended up even mentioning it. Anyways, not to make a big deal out of it, but just wanted to at least update the page.

Peace.

Crunch

I realized today, as I was sitting on my balcony and could hear a couple guys tossing the frisbee down below, that I haven't heard leaves crunch in half a decade. Maybe a leaf crunch now and then, but leaves, to hear people trampling through them, every step heard brings the feel of fall. Then it started raining. Not a heavy rain, but a light, continuous shower. I got in my car this evening to return a movie, and that took me back to winters down South. The lights fading early now, not to mention the fact that it was overcast all day made it disappear all too soon. So now I want to both sit outside in the breeze and curl up in a ball with heavy blankets while watching a movie. It messes with your head when you're torn between two seasons. Guess I better get used to that concept again; seasons.

I'm still trying to figure out how, or even if, I should continue with the post below. It hit me hard again last night, and has been boiling over on the back burner all day today. Maybe I'll sit down and try to collect some more thoughts tonight and will post soon. Or, perhaps it's better to just collect some more thoughts but not post. We'll see. But I did find this interesting quote:

"A single word is sufficient to reveal the truth." - Shen Hui

If you're looking, you can't see past then...

Namaste'.

A precursor...

This koan got me thinking tonight. A lot. I've started a post, but I want it to come out right when I actually put it up here. In the meantime, here's what got me thinking. If you'd like more thought provoking anecdotes, click the title of this post. It's am amazing collection of Zen parables.

A student of Tendai, a philosophical school of Buddhism, came to the Zen abode of Gasan as a pupil. When he was departing a few years later, Gasan warned him: "Studying the truth speculatively is useful as a way of collecting preaching material. But remember that unless you meditate constantly your light of truth may go out."

What's your movie?

Lord of the Rings!

The Sutras

Tetsugen, a devotee of Zen in Japan, decided to publish the sutras, which at that time were available only in Chinese. The books were to be printed with wood blocks in an edition of seven thousand copies, a tremendous undertaking.

Tetsugen began by travelling and collecting donations for this purpose. A few sympathizers would give him a hundred pieces of gold, but most of the time he received only small coins. He thanked each donor with equal gratitude. After ten years Tetsugen had enough money to begin his task.

It happened that at that time the Uji River overflowed. Famine followed. Tetsugen took the funds he had collected for the books and spent them to save others from starvation. Then he began again his work of collecting.

Several years afterward an epidemic spread over the country. Tetsugen again gave away what he had collected.

For a third time he started his work, and after twenty years his wish was fulfilled. The printing blocks which produced the first edition of sutras can be seen today in Obaku monastery in Kyoto.

The Japanese tell their children that Tetsugen made three sets of sutras, and that the first two invisible sets surpass even the last.

Not an interesting post

Well, I'll be honest from the start; this isn't going to be an interesting post. I have no philosophical insight nor witticisms from my last few days back here. However, since I know the past couple posts have been somewhat, um, non-happy, thought I'll just send word that things are going good since I've been back to DeKalb.

I had my first real day of serving tables today. I know it's not for everybody, but I really enjoy the interaction with the guests. The other servers...well, neither here nor there yet, but the management are realistic, at least. I got quite a bit of langiappe done today, then since I've been home I've basically caught up on all my readings for next week, with just a short micro-essay to write before Monday's Epistemology course.

I was really in the mood to go out and eat today (shit...that reminds me I haven't eaten at all yet), but, alas, I had no one to go with. While I've got no self-conscious issues of going out to eat by myself, it's just easier to fix some soup or ramen. However, while I really don't have anyone to just call up to go grab some food, things are getting a little better on the isolation issue. Had a night of dork-games with some of the people from the department last night, so that was a nice reprieve. Everyone had a really good time, so hopefully we can do it again soon. And so far it's been a fairly decent mixure of studying, working, and a night or two of R&R.

Well, like I said, this wasn't an interesting post and nothing I could add in the way of further ramblings could make it so. Just wanted to say things are good and I'm content with life at the moment. I keep waiting for some good service industry stories to share, but until then...

Namaste'.

Sleepless Paths

In my travels this weekend I was able to see quite a bit of CNN. As I said previously, CNN seems to be the least sensationalist, but it is still a sensory overload. It was possibly due to the air mattress that kept losing air, but I think a large part was due to the sensory overload from the images I saw; the end result was that I didn't sleep but a few nightmares worth this past weekend.

I kept dreaming that I was in the middle of it all. I wasn't a trapped resident, but I dreamt I was down there to help. So I was in the middle of the city, trying to do something, but the underlying theme was that I was unable to accomplish anything. You know that frustrating feeling in the dream? You're trying to run, or trying to stand up, or trying to punch or kick, but you just can't? Yeah, I kept seeing people going under, losing their footing and splashing into the murk. And having lifeguarded for 7 years, I'm extremely capable of helping that individual...but I was impotent to do anything. Fighting to move through the water and every corner I turned or landmark I passed would suddenly put me in an entirely different part of the city; worse than before, more devastation, more people calling for a hand against the floods, against weakness, against those few individuals who are making things worse for everyone else as if they were a Lord of the Flies.

Well, maybe it was working through everything on the drive back yesterday (amazing what a little alone time for self-reflection can do). Anyways, I slept a bit easier last night. I still dreamt about my home, but it wasn't in the first person this time and it wasn't the sole object of my dreams, either. Guess it just takes a bit to sink in. And if just seeing my old haunts on TV has this effect on me, I can only imagine the stress put on those individuals without that comfort of thier own bed to sleep it off in.

Day by Day

It's hard to say in an event of this magnitude when "the worst of it" is over. And even though the convention center is now cleared, it will still take several days to complete the evacuation of the city and thousnads are still displaced across the country. I just hope, as SLC and I talked about a couple days ago, that this doesn't turn into the background noise of the 30 second segments on the nightly news. The survivors may soon be safe, but their lives won't be stable and out of danger from neglect for quite some time. As far as the conditions of the city as a whole, I can only hope that with time and proper planning, the city will come back with only a deeper history and more complex culture to show for it.

I have heard that several of my friends have taken the offer from other universities to enroll this semester. I've also heard that several of the incoming class has opted not to attempt a return to Tulane once things are back up and running, whenever that may be. I understand that, to some extent, but I also hope all alegencies aren't broken.

The title of this post goes to CNN's "how do I help?" page. Though much of the information on that website is financially based, for those who are still poor college students (perhaps a bit more poor recently), many of the programs in operation are in need of man power, too. While I don't have much to spare financially, I'll be offering my time and encourage you to do the same. Everyone can help out in some capacity.

Oh, and I found out it was the three-star General Honore who started making progress down south.

That's all I really have to write on today. The news programs cover more than I could hope to convey, though I will say CNN is the least "sensationalist" about it all, so props to them. They're also good about covering the stories of hope as well.

Namaste'.

Piss Ant(s)

Damn them all.

First off, let me apologize for the piss ants without tact who've been posting in the comments section. All comments have been deleted and, as such, comments have been turned off. Again, sorry.

Second, to the big piss ant with the tan from his recent vacation, fuck you. Most of you who know me could guess I'm not a fan of the President, but I normally keep my more pointed opinions to myself. However, his speech today really set me off. "New Orleans will rise again. New Orleans is a great city. I remember coming to this city when I lived in Texas to have a good time. Sometimes too good a time (chuckle chuckle)."* Yeah, you got your priorities straight. And this isn't just due to the recent stream of posts about how I feel about the city as a whole and others' view of it as a weekend party. And, though I'm not going to touch the recent allegations regarding the governments actions or ineptitude, it does speak for the direction in which they're approaching this disaster.

Bravo to the Mayor of New Orleans, though. "No more press conferences. Put a moratorium on press conferences until troops are here, too many armed forces and supply trucks to count. You said 40,000 troops are coming, but they're not here NOW!"* Following this, when the General (who's name I didn't catch) with the convoys came in, Nagan then said, "I give props to the President. He sends one John Wayne general down here and he's getting things done. He steps off the chopper and starts cussing and he's getting things done."* He's got his head on straight.

I'm sorry to be bashing members of the government. I know I'm missing information and am only angry and the most salient features to me at the moment. I understand we need to stick together as a country and concentrate on the issues at hand. But this how I feel, and it's all I'm going to say on the topic.

I'm far too heated right now to write further, but to my friends who've recently heard from Tulane, I hope to talk with you soon. I know I'm living in the middle of not much, but whether you're just passing through or feel like getting away from the questions and the frustrations for a longer stay, my apartment is open to you for as long as you wish. Anything you guys need, I'm here in whatever limited capacity I can offer.

Star-Crossed Times

Clicking on the title will take you to a Washington Post article that, in my opinion, is the best account of the feelings I've been trying to convey. Thanks to SLC for passing that along, as the portion about coming of age in the crescent city definately hit home.

Also, some good news. In addition to Northern setting up fund raising drives on campus and sending e-mail to their entire student body on how to donate and volunteer, I've recently heard some good news from other universities as well. I know MBB has information on UGA's program, and I recently heard that MSU (previously SMSU, in my hometown) is offering tuition waiver for the semester for those displaced from their own college due to Katrina. It's good to know that, even through the sometimes isolated prespective from inside the ivory tower, individuals and colleges as a whole are still conscious of the needs of humanity and the connection to the world around us.

Not all is dark. My peace be.