The Tipping Point

Deek wrote:

Jeff want to rage against the society that beget him. He knows that he is smarter than the majority of the people in the world. But instead of reveling in it, doing drugs, having wild sex, and making mad cash he wants to push the envelope and see what lies beyond it.

He dreams of finding some philosophical truth or possibly some group uber-elite that manipulate the people that run the world. But to do this he must fight the instincts that draw him to the good life, the easy life, the sexual life. For these are the things that anchor him in a static worldview. But to break this, he must rage against not only the world but also much of himself. This is why he is morose so often but giddy on occasions when he gives into these instincts, only to feel guilty and morose again when he remembers.

At least, that's what I got from the two line quote.

- Deek

P.S. I bullshat most of that.

Bravo! That was an entirely insightful assessment. It was wrong (or so I think), but that doesn't mean it wasn't insightful. Given who I was the last time we lived in the same city, I concede you would have pegged the 1,000 sided figure into the 1,000 sided hole. But, alas, there's a tipping point with people like you and me. And while on one side of the fulcrum our instincts lead us away from the ether and towards wild sex, drugs, and lots of money, there comes a point where we cross over. I agree that my morose-ness was likely caused by my passions for the higher good conflicting with the pull from an earthly umbilical cord feeding me Jack Daniels and the memory of an electrical closet at Ampersands. However, I'm afraid the situation has worsened. For now my instincts lead directly to the "other side of things."

I don't doubt that the ivory tower has some effect on this, but I'd say it is more so the solitude and, um, other practices I partake in. But the result is that my instincts now drive me away from the "world that beget" me. As strong as that pull may be, as many glimpses of the IS that I receive, I feel as though I now have to fight those instincts to stay connected to the world that is static. But, you gotta admit, the place where there is no stable ground and everything blinks and pops...pretty damn cool. But I am losing the connection here. I find it even harder to communicate; not for lack of anything to say, but for lack of a desire to talk about the weather. And don't think I'm against going back down that rabbit hole towards the fire-lit shadows. I'm all about that. But it's that initial blindness when re-descending that's causing me troubles at the moment. I suppose it'll pass. And, from everything I've so far seen, the passing from one side to the other becomes easier as the trips become numerous.

But you do bring up a helpful suggestion. Maybe what I need to help those transitions are a few mushrooms and a couple experiences which would put my previous stories to shame. Though, a maximum occupancy of 3 will be firmly in place this time around.


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