{proof}

Philosophy conferences are definately not what I expected (disclaimer; I have only one experience to base this off of, so yeah, I'm generalizing but completely open to being disproven). The trip wasn't a bad one, but honestly the high points were seeing my parents and stopping in Cape G on the way back to get a beer with Strain. It's not that my presentation didn't go well...outside a really odd comment at the very end ("So you're talking about the probabilities of an attitudinal proposition being true, but these beliefs...what is a belief? Do we even have beliefs?") Well, I don't know about you, but I've got beliefs, so I'm just kinda shooting from the hip at those. But, in essense, I was hoping for a crucible and what I found was a frosted mug.

See, I knew that each presentation was only 50 minutes long. 3,000 words takes just over 20 minutes to read, then the commentator's piece normally takes another 10 to 12. That leaves about 15 minutes of questions. So, intellectually, I guess I always knew there wouldn't be much time for substantial comments aimed at progress of my paper. But it went beyond that simple fact, because there was no sharpening of blades, testing of metal at the conference. I went down there for the purpose of improving my paper and assisting, if possible, the improvement of other's. But the feeling I got was that the conference was a place to hang-out, network a little bit, go drinking on Beale street, and get your travels reimbursed by the department. And while that's not a bad thing in itself, and where I to have known a few people going down there, I can imagine it would have been a kick-ass good time. But if the pursuit of that which can be shown and understood but never said is not the main goal of a conference, I wonder where that is the main goal (outside of one's study at 3am on a Saturday night).

I guess when it all gets flushed out, I just think we're doing some pretty important stuff here. And my problem is that I don't see this as a job or career, I see it as what I've decided to do with the finite time I have this go around. I had imagined walking in there and hearing those type of secrets that are innane if you don't understand them, are self-evident and poetic if you do understand them, but have the inherent danger of making you go insane if you can only partially understand them. Ok, now that I've got that out in the open, yes, I admit I am completely idealistic. But why not? Remember the first time you heard a sceptical hypothesis; how do you know you're actually sitting in front of a computer right now when you could be a brain, floating in a vat of nutrients, hooked up and stimulated by a super-computer to have all the exact same perceptions as you're having right now? What happened? Did you say, "What? that's just silly. Of course I'm not a brain-in-a-vat. Afterall, I ate cherrio's for breakfast this morning. Could a brain-in-a-vat do that?!?" Or was it more, "Ah, well of course I could be a brain-in-a-vat. Afterall, those cherrio's I ate for breakfast this morning could have simply been the super-computer sending sense-impressions of the tiny o's getting soggy in milk." And then there's the third option of, "Holy crap...I'm in the matrix!" Now, that's a pretty harmless example, yet it gets at my point. Why not break down the walls of our minds systematically? If you've ever taken a theoretical course, you'll know that the classes' collective theory changes with every article they read. Each new theory seems perfectly plausible at the time...but none of them need be correct! I don't need to hear true secrets about the world, I just want to be shown the hints others have found and similarly be shown any hints that could lead me to the secret I'm hunting. Oh, and yes, I'm having one of my multi-reality days (brought on, no kidding, by watching Proof, which is an amazing movie for those who feel the way I do about academia).

So, the short of it: I love to have a good time, I wish I'd been down in New Orleans drinking with all my best friends this weekend. And I respect the intent of others to come together for a good time. I was just expected that, while the nights were for networking and drinking on Beale street, the days contained a bit more philosophical rigor. But for now, it's back to grinding out an MA. Shoot me a comment if I'm way off base with this...