Drunken Counterfactuals

Labels: Humor, Philosophy

[The following is adapted and rewritten from a comment made by Adam W. I take no credit for originality of the humor.]

A Counterfactual is the drunk guy at the bar who loses a fight, yet preserves his pride by asserting that:

Well, if x [counterfactual antecedent], I *hic-up* coulda beat 'em. *puke*

Some likely candidates for x in this instance are:
: I wasn't so drunk
: his wife wasn't watching
: I was mad enough. . . but he wasn't worth it
: he hadn't a-sucker punched me
: he hadn't had his buddies there
&c. . .

Statements about such "states of affairs" certainly have no referent. Thus, they have nothing that makes them true. But the drunken counterfactual's drunken buddies would readily agree with the counterfactual's belief that, if it wasn't for the way things really are, he'd be a badass.