Here Comes the Personal Side...
So I've been thinking a lot about graduation. No, I haven't heard back from any college I've applied to, but then again, that doesn't really make a difference. The whole "going to grad school" thing seems so surreal, like it's still a dream from which I'm just waiting to wake up. I honestly can't imagine myself as a philosopher. Perhaps it's the low self-image I have of myself or, more likely, the fact that I'm just waiting for someone to say, "Ahah...I knew you were faking it!" But outside of that whole going on to the next place, I'm starting to realize 1) how much people in my life right now mean to me and 2) how much they've influenced who I am.
This isn't the place to list through who and why I care about the people I do, but it's just on my mind right now. True, it's late and I'm slightly inebriated, but all the same, I'm going to miss this place and the people who make this place what it is.
I don't talk a lot about my past and specifically my high school memories. It's not because I don't have them, but I basically disowned them. All my high school friends went to the same state school(Mizzou). When I came back for that first winter break and more so when I came back for the first summer, I just didn't fit in anymore. It wasn't that I changed while they didn't or they changed while I didn't, but I'd say that they changed as a group, while I changed by myself. I came back to find inside jokes and "oh, that's old news" to the point I couldn't find my place in the conversations, much less their lives. I know my closest friends will end up spread out across the country; Joe will be in Houston, Bradley will be in Seminary, Nick will likely be here, Troy will be at MIT, Heintz will be here but rudely standoffish from it all, and, yes, even Steph belongs to this list now though she'll still be here, too. So I don't expect the same thing to happen as what happened in high school, but I'm still worried about the lack of keeping up with eachother. Afterall, anyone who's been in a different city from me for six months or more knows I suck at keeping contact.
There's a quote that comes in many forms, but something to the extent that "Friends come and go; but for a precious few you should hold on." Well, it's weird looking at where I am now and, based on the experiences I've had in my 22 few years, knowing that my friends number more than a precious few and I'm just concerned for holding on to all of them.
But...perhaps a preface to all this would have been more wise. It's late, I had an amazing weekend, not to mention an eye-opening Tuesday this past week, I'm slightly inebriated, and I'm also listening to the Garden State soundtrack. So...to sum up, pardon the the emotions...
This isn't the place to list through who and why I care about the people I do, but it's just on my mind right now. True, it's late and I'm slightly inebriated, but all the same, I'm going to miss this place and the people who make this place what it is.
I don't talk a lot about my past and specifically my high school memories. It's not because I don't have them, but I basically disowned them. All my high school friends went to the same state school(Mizzou). When I came back for that first winter break and more so when I came back for the first summer, I just didn't fit in anymore. It wasn't that I changed while they didn't or they changed while I didn't, but I'd say that they changed as a group, while I changed by myself. I came back to find inside jokes and "oh, that's old news" to the point I couldn't find my place in the conversations, much less their lives. I know my closest friends will end up spread out across the country; Joe will be in Houston, Bradley will be in Seminary, Nick will likely be here, Troy will be at MIT, Heintz will be here but rudely standoffish from it all, and, yes, even Steph belongs to this list now though she'll still be here, too. So I don't expect the same thing to happen as what happened in high school, but I'm still worried about the lack of keeping up with eachother. Afterall, anyone who's been in a different city from me for six months or more knows I suck at keeping contact.
There's a quote that comes in many forms, but something to the extent that "Friends come and go; but for a precious few you should hold on." Well, it's weird looking at where I am now and, based on the experiences I've had in my 22 few years, knowing that my friends number more than a precious few and I'm just concerned for holding on to all of them.
But...perhaps a preface to all this would have been more wise. It's late, I had an amazing weekend, not to mention an eye-opening Tuesday this past week, I'm slightly inebriated, and I'm also listening to the Garden State soundtrack. So...to sum up, pardon the the emotions...
posted by J.B.P. at 10:57 PM
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