Still Free

I've added a new link under 'Shorts and Films' titled "Still Free" (the title of this post will take you to the same place). It's a pretty impressive film, and though it's just a hoax, I thought it was pretty cool. Check it out.

Also, the post I wrote earlier this morning, titled "Howard Roark, Architect", has a question at the end of it. Not that you necessarily should answer that question, but I wouldn't mind you leaving a comment once and while to let me know your opinions. I have a counter coded into this site (at the bottom of the sidebar), which tells me how many people visit and where they're from. I don't check it out to regularly, but everyone once and awhile I'll notice certain patterns. And from those, it's come to my attention I don't know who half the people are who regularly check this out. So if something hits a chord when you're reading through here, feel free to leave your two cents. Or, if nothing else, feel free to just say "hey!"

Namaste'.

"Howard Roark, Architect"

"It doesn't say much. Only 'Howard Roark, Architect.' But it's like those mottoes men carved over the entrance of a castle and died for. It's a challenge in the face of something so vast and so dark, that all the pain on earth -- and do you know how much suffering there is on earh? -- all the pain comes from that thing you are going to face. I don't know what it is, I don't know why it should be unleashed against you. I know only that it will be. And I know that if you carry these words through to the end, it will be a victory, Howard, not just for you, but for something that should win, that moves the world -- and never wins acknowledgement. It will vindicate so many who have fallen before you, who have suffered as you will suffer. May God bless you -- or whoever it is that is alone to see the best, the highest possible to human hearts. You're on your way into hell, Howard."

I really liked this quote from The Fountainhead. It comes right after Roark starts off on his own and is the response his mentor gives to seeing a snapshot of the front door to his office, in which "Howard Roark, Architect" is etched. Makes you wonder, what's the motto carved over the entrance to your castle to die for?

An Unfortunate State-of-Affairs

Alas, the college life, and graduate level to a higher degree, is a turbulent one. Life (the ontological form by which I'm often found saying, "How's Life treating you?") is contracted and condensed and spaced out and forgiving and damning all in the same week. Or, in this case, over two weeks. Last week was the oppressive version, while this week time has slowed to allow everything in. And while, as my best friends can attest to, I am in full contempt for Life during the negative-cycles, I have to admit the up-swings make it all worth it. Manic-depressive? Perhaps. Unstable? Obviously.

But based on a few close friends' insistence, I figure I'll use this time I've been given productively. So I started reading The Fountainhead tonight. I know; some love it, some hate it. But I've been told I'd love it, so who knows. I bought this and Atlas Shrugged a month or two ago, and though I'd given the latter a good attempt in middle school (yup, unstable indeed), I never really did get into it. However, not having even begun the Fountainhead tonight, I was taking a look at the introduction by Rand upon the 25th anniversary of this book (currently in it's centennial publication). In it, I found the following quote. And for this reason, I'm already beginning to understand why these close friends recommended this book so highly.

"It is not in the nature of man -- nor of any living entity -- to start out by giving up, by spitting in one's own face and damning existence; that requires a process of corruption whose rapidity differs from man to man. Some give up at the first touch of pressure; some sell out; some run down by imperceptible degrees and lose their fire, never knowing when or how they lost it. Then all of these vanish in the vast swamp of their elders who tell them persistently that maturity consists of abandoning one's mind; security, of abandoning one's values; practicality, of losing self-esteem. Yet a few hold on and move on, knowing that that fire is not to be betrayed, learning how to give it shape, purpose, and reality. But whatever their future, at the dawn of their lives, men seek a noble vision of man's nature and of life's potential." (xi)

C. S. Lewis

"A young man who wishes to remain a sound atheist cannot be too careful of his reading."

"Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities."

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

"Literature adds to reality, it does not simply describe it. It enriches the necessary competencies that daily life requires and provides; and in this respect, it irrigates the deserts that our lives have already become."

"Miracles are a retelling in small letters of the very same story which is written across the whole world in letters too large for some of us to see."

"I gave in, and admitted that God was God."

Half-way Done, Half-way through Comps

Just a small update; turns out I only passed one of the three recent comps. Now the Metaphysics and Epistemology is out of the way, along with the Logic comp I passed this past December. Unfortunately, the History, which I felt really confident about coming out of, and the Ethics comp both didn't fair so well. I'm not too worried about Ethics, as I was borderline "pass" anyways, and with a different set of questions I should do fine. History, though, is a different story. With the exception of the moment I actually walked out of the test, I never really had any expectation of passing it. However, now knowing how I felt I did, how much information I covered, yet still not having passed the thing -- that kinda worries me. Eh...at least that chapter is closed right now. Not much to do about it till next semester rolls around the I get to retake them. I'll plan on using my time this summer for a bit of extra reading, but I guess I'll take the "Two down, two to go" mentality for now.

Nothing else too exciting is going on. As I stopped by work to pick up my check today, one of the managers asked me if I could work tomorrow night. Turns out, he doesn't want me serving, but wants me coming in dressed nicely. I'll be following him around, learning how to close the restaurant tomorrow. Should be interesting, if not a little odd. Considering the fact that I definitely don't have tenure there, something tells me it might piss a few of my fellow servers off. I don't know...can't hurt to be trained as a closing manager. If nothing else, I'll look damn good tomorrow night (actually had to stop and buy a new pair of charcoal gray slacks, as, outside of suits, I don't really have many nice clothes). All in all, looking good at work for once might help that other, uh, "interest" in my life right now. I won't get too personal on here, as DW isn't exactly a blog about my personal life so much as for intellectual issues. But we'll see where that goes.

Till something adventurous happens... Namaste'.

Exiting the Intellectual Depression through Thought

"You take the old Poets much too seriously, my young friend. You should not take old people who are already dead seriously. It does them injustice. We immortals do not like things to be taken seriously. We like joking. Seriousness, young man, is an accident of time. It consists, I don't mind telling you in confidence, in putting too high a value on time. I, too, once put too high a value on time. For that reason I wished to be a hundred years old. In eternity, however, there is not time, you see. Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke."

Steppenwolf
Herman Hesse

The Well-Spring

I drink from the well-spring Mnemosyne...

Pint Glass Display

You may think to yourself, "But, JBP, aren't those better used to actually consume beer?" Well, yes, but unfortunately, in my current state of affairs, I won't be having a drink anytime soon (though I will be having many, many drinks right after that).



And here is my newly spaced out (for lack of pint glasses) beer bottle collection. Yep...I'm "that guy." But I had a closet that wasn't being used (underneith you see the shadow of my "entertainment system"), and it's not like I have a bunch of other material possessions to fill up my apartment with.

Anyways, I'd been staining those two shelves the past few days. They've been my one break from the creeping insanity I feel coming on (yup...the circles). I actually can't wait till mid-May, as a lot of people will be moving out and throwing away their furniture. I figure as I'm headed to work and back, maybe I'll find a table or something I can fix up. Cause, honestly, this summer I'm going to be pretty bored without some projects to work on. If nothing else, putting those shelves up was my break from today's long list of things to do. Now it's back to the grind stone.

Balancing Between the Lines

"Stress: The confusion created when one's mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living daylights out of some jerk who desperately deserves it”

--Unknown

“In times of stress, be bold and valiant.”
--Horace

More to come regarding my inability to function right now...

Opening Car Doors

I have heard countless times from certain women claiming to be feminists that they hate it when a guy opens their door for them. This post is not directed towards them. This is directed towards individuals, male or female, who realize it's a matter of respect and not a matter of taking care of some helpless girl.

What brings this up is that I've been watching the first season of Grey's Anatomy from Netflix, and in the 6th episode Shepard unlocks the passenger door and opens it for Grey (side note, this is in the pouring rain). Then Shepard runs around the back of the car to get to the driver's side. And here's the kicker, Grey reaches across and unlocks the driver's side door for Shepard.

I was pretty young when I first heard this; too young to drive, that's for sure. So I don't remember the quote or the source, though I do know there is one. But it went something to the effect that you should always take the long way around the back of the car. You'll know a lot by whether or not she unlocks your door for you. Basically, the act of unlocking your door is the reciprocation of opening her door for her. It's mutual respect. So don't get offended when a guy opens a door for you -- instead, just return the favor.

Witticisms? Na, just an update

Unfortunately, I have nothing fun to write tonight. As the semester starts winding down, I've really got nothing going on in my life other than final papers and a bunch of reading. However, I found out one great piece of news yesterday I figured I'd share with you.

I'd heard that this was in the works, that they were trying to find the funding for a 13th spot, but I found out yesterday that I was awarded a TAship for next year! In addition to a stipend far above my current lifestyle (please note, that's not that much...I live a very basic life), I get my tuition waived for the entire year. That's going to save me about 13K in loans, not to mention justifying my auditing a couple courses.

Also some good news, I'll be branching out next year and taking a couple psych courses. I'm a man of two minds; half in and half out of the world. I agree with most antagonists to philosophy that it doesn't deal with real-world issues enough (or at least, for those real-world issues it does deal with, it doesn't ground them in anything substantive). However, I have a problem with psychology that it doesn't attempt to recreate the ideal and is focused too much on the microjules of the E5 region of the neocortex. But I do miss holding a brain in my hands (as opposed to just my mind). Given, the last time I did that, it fell out of the tupperware container and rolled across the table. But I caught it just as it started it's final descent...still wish I'd worn gloves that day. But we're able to take up to two graduate level courses in another discipline and count them towards our MA degree, plus I may be able to get what's called a "Master's Certificate" in psychology by taking two courses each of the next two semesters. It's not a full-out Master's degree, but something akin to what a minor is to an undergrad's major. Looks good on the PhD application. And, as a further benefit, I might be applying to the psych department here as a fall-back to any fall-back of a PhD school next semester. I would be a good candidate for similar funding to what I'll be receiving next year, and with four courses already out of the way, the only personal cost to me would be an extra year of my life. That way, when I do finally leave this cornfield, I could potentially have a double Master's in philosophy and psychology. Pretty cool, eh?

The best part about this all, though, is that my current debt of student loans will, hopefully, no longer be growing. All expenses paid next year, plus it's unlikely I'll be accepted to a PhD program and not get similar or more substantial funding than this TAship, so the current amount is stable until that quick-pick megalotto plan of mine pays out. Oh, come on, I'm going to be a professional philosopher...it's either the lotto or selling my body to pay off those loans. Hrm....on second thought...

Anyways, that's all that's new in the world of me, as sad and utterly boring as that may be. But soon enough, as the semester is out and I have the entire summer to run amok, I'll have some decent posts again.

Till then...
Namaste'.

Angry Cocktail Napkins

I'm pretty sure I just stumbled upon this guy's blog one day, but I kinda like it. Basically, the guy is a cartoonist who creates single panel, cocktail-napkin-type comics. Anyways, as I don't have anything substantial to write (at least, not until I start my paper for Mind which I'll be turning in tomorrow), here's something to keep you occupied.

Epicurus and Your Own Death

I'd just like to throw this out there and see what people's reactions are. So, feel free to comment on this one. I'd like to argue that one should never be afraid of death. This is adapted (or possibly copied, as I don't have the original texts) from the argument Epicurus gave on why death ain't so bad.

First, there is no reason to fear death because you can never be in any substantive relationship to death. While you are living, death does not exist for you. Hence, there is no intimate relation between you and death. When you die, you are annihilated. Hence, there is no "you" to be in any relation to death. So, while the action that is dying is of another matter, death, itself, is nothing to fear. Now, you may say that it is the fact that "you" will be annihilated that you have a negative reaction towards. But Epicurus offers an argument of symmetry for this one. Was it so terrible that you didn't exist before your birth? Well, the non-existence before your birth is the same exact non-existence as after your death. So, my question to you is, what's the big deal?

Disclaimer: For Epicurus, the largest obstacle for happiness is anxiety of the future. Once this fear is eliminated, there is no obstruction in the pursuit of ataraxia, or tranquility. The point is not that the matter of death is a matter of indifference, but that through the confidence derived from that indifference, you're able to lead a life of much less pain and fear. So, you know, don't go killing yourself or anything. Instead, live a tranquil life, or at least leave a post script on why you disagree.