An image for Julie

Julie -- Since you liked my "reed in the ocean" analogy, here's a visual. Namaste.
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Less Than Zero by Bret Easton Ellis

I guess it has to get worse before it gets better.

The Arm's Length Between Realities

Mark Epstein is both a practicing Buddhist and a Freudian psychoanalyst. Sounds crazy, but in Thoughts Without a Thinker(no better title for a book is possible...with the exception of The Book of Secrets) and in a couple other books he very methodically outlines how these two modes of thought often times overlap. I will offer one point of warning before I continue; Epstein holds that mediation without psychotherapy is just plain dangerous. Maybe it's self-promotion, and I'll admit that in the case studies he cites psychotherapy was either necessary or at least extremely beneficial, but if you can get past those fifteen pages(~130 - 145), it's actually a great book on Buddhism.

Now to the reason I've titled this post "The Arm's Length Between Realities." In Thoughts Without a Thinker Epstein refers to the depth of peace and compassion that can be found within mediation. But in the same breath, he also notes that by developing this level of mindfulness, every other aspect of life becomes more rich and vibrant. Afterall, we can't spend out entire lives on a zafu with eternal incense burning. So when we stop levitating and leave the ether behind to "live in the world," the "being not of it" becomes so much more apparent. I could continue in this realm of the ontological, but I think to illustrate a little more clearly, I'm going to have to dip into the ontopractical.

I try to refrain from speaking of my mediation sessions, but in the interest of brevity, let me just say that today's meditation was by far the most mindful mediation I've experienced. It brought so much peace and quiet, but at the same time it brings so much pain. As more and more of that mindfulness leaves the meditation cushion and follows me out into my daily life, the distance between the two realms grow exceedingly closer. To use Zimmerman's example, imagine concentrating your whole of attention on a headache, or a pain in your knee, or any other feeling whether emotional or physical. Though it is helpful and, if nothing else, the best learning experience possible, it is also excrutiatingly painful...afterall, we normally just block these pains out of our mind or deal with them in small, measured doses. But tonight, with as much salient information surrounds me right now in regards to how alone I truly am, topped off with the fact that these experiences have less and less distance to travel from the daily life to the life of concentration, these feelings are getting the best of me. This is the difficult part of "sitting on a pillow and not talking." I'm keeping mindful of my efforts not to form attachments to these feelings, but I feel like a reed in the ocean with wave after wave of this feeling beating against me. I'm not holding on to any of the water, but that doesn't stop it from constantly surrounding me. Anyways, this too shall pass. Afterall, the mindfulness of the pain also lends itself to other areas of life. Just a strong coincidence that the realms became closest on a day I happened to be feeling more alone than normal.

Namaste.

That was painfully productive...

So I'm holding a position at my front desk for a previous employee who got cut from work-study. So long as he is awarded it after a petition, he'll have his old job back. But in the meantime, I'm having to get his shifts covered by my current staff, a much more difficult job than simply hiring a new employee, which I could have done three times over last Monday. Anyways, I ended up working the desk this morning, luckily only from 5am to 6am as Ben did a favor by taking the first two hours. But, since I had to work the desk anyways, I'm also in the process of doing my laundry and studying for a test in cognitive neuroscience.

The test shouldn't be too bad...the last one was honestly a breeze. This is over the auditory and visual tracts along with attention derived from each. We'll see how it goes. But I can already tell it's going to be a long day by the time I'm done with classes, meditations, and HRL meetings. I might decide to just take a nap instead of going out....or maybe go rent a movie and give someone an invite to come watch it with me...

A Response...

First off, there are no dumb questions, especially when I'm thirsty.

So the linked title actually goes to my post titled "Wingman" for the reason that a comment was left by "pledge" regarding altered states of consciousness. Altered states misconstrues a lot of what mystic practitioners actually do. After all, an altered state is technically a divergence from the waking self, but what does one classify as the wakeful self? The attentive student? The relaxed smoking buddy? The "riding down the elevator while wondering if she caught me staring at her ass" guy? The problem with this question, and it is a fair question, is that all throughout your day you experience altered states regardless of what you classify as a "wakeful state." We have a habit of classifying, and to classify we have to partition experiences. States of consciousness, however, are not partitioned and are instead a spectrum of awareness. This is self-evident if you are mindful of your thoughts throughout just a one-hour period. Between your half-lucid morning confusion and the over-stimulated-list-creating machine when your head hits the pillow at night you continually oscillate between the waves of awareness. Psychologically this can be seen as a sometimes erratic, always mathematic, concordanation of your brain waves from Alpha to Theta, but beyond that, it gives us just a small glimpse of what is possible internally.

This brings up the second portion of your question regarding whether or not our "brains" go somewhere when we sleep. To use a visual, imagine a huge ball of thread. Only this ball doesn't consist of just one thread but thousands of billions of threads knotted up against eachother [for the remainder of this thought experiment, please refrain from associating "threads" with "neurons." It does not apply]. Each thread represents a thought, volition, fear, or simply the connection between a thought and fear or volition. Now experience the weight of this ball of thread. What's it weigh...something like 3.5 lbs? The brain, all 3.5 lbs of it, stays very much content inside the warmth of your own head when you dream. Your mind, during the darkest hours, has the ability to take a few of these threads and play with them. In a knot full of knots, holes, and cul de sacs, your mind has infinite "places" it can go within it's own ball each and every night. In fact, it has so many alternate endings and choose your own adventures that it has no need to go elsewhere. But what I like about this visual image is that there's also the possibility that your mind finds emptiness. A new thought, or thread, could pass right through the entirety of this ball. Why? Because there is no core, no self, no attachment to this new thought...that is, of course, unless you wrap your previous thoughts, volitions, and fears around it and knot it up in the mix. So, to sum up, the "brain" [read: mind] does not go anywhere when you sleep, but it does have the potential to go nowhere if you let it.

The Supernatural Rain

New Orleans has had an unexpected downpour the past 24 hours. It's been nice...I love the lightening and the thunder. In fact, it was definitely something to see last night. Joe, Bradley, Nick and I are standing out front of the fraternity house after meeting. A dozen or more other brothers were out there, too, enjoying the view of the lightning. The funniest thing was that a bolt of lightening would flash, then when the thunder hit, nearly everyone on the porch other than Joe, Bradley, Nick and I jumped. I don't know if it's a mid-west thing (not counting Nick) or a outdoors-type thing or what, but it was one of the funniest things I've seen in a while to watch a dozen grown men jump at the sound of thunder.

But I say supernatural rain, because rain in New Orleans has a habit of acting extremely erratic. Not to mention the powers it has to travel through solid material and form deep puddles on normally flat land. But I love it regardless. I was walking with Nick one night and a deep fog had set in to the point you could only see 30 ft. most places. We were talking about sources of power, and I mentioned how much I get from the fog and the wind. Don't cut me off yet, hear me out. You know when you were a kid and, whether riding you bike or out on the playground, you just felt the rush of wind to your face or at your back? It would just fill you with this cold, electric shock that coursed through your body? Similar to riding a car with the top down, but definitely a more intense feeling. Well, that's what I'm referring to. It was interesting, too, because Nick felt a source of energy from trees and the earth in general. Maybe that's why I prefer skydiving and he prefers backpacking. But the rain definitely brings on that same sense of a surplus of energy that fog and wind give.

Anyways, I'm rambling because I've got not much to talk about. Life is beautiful, peaceful, surreal, and somewhat illusory right now, and I couldn't ask for more.

Wingman

Smoke and mirrors, and maybe a little jig. Oh, it's a fantanstic jig. Not to mention a little slight of hand and a paradoxical double-entendre; especially when the second meaning is risqué.

The Dragon's Code

I am what I am because I choose to be. I am a dragon by choice, and am subject to it's law. My brothers and sisters are my heart and my mind. Even though we may disagree with each other, we strive to be ONE. Forgetting all categories, and letting energy which wishes to exist, exist. But as a Dragon, I must go forth to seek the Tao and the Void, understanding myself, and finding peace within.

--The Dragon's Code
Great Grand Master Daniel Kane Pai

Special thanks to Ashley K. for pointing out this quote and to her dad for his instructions.

Constantine

So Joe, Steph, Ross, Naomi, Gym and Colleen and I went to see Constantine last night. I have to say, it was well worth the hour layover we had to take to make it. The 920 and 1020 shows both sold out, so we bought tickets for the 11pm and went to Applebee's to waste time.

But the movie surpassed my expectations. I figured it would be a fairly good movie, a little hokey, cliche' in parts, but at least good special effects and all. Turns out the hokey parts were few and far between and the special effects were better than expected.

What I didn't actually expect from the movie was the huge amount of references, both biblical and to the occult, and the symbolism interwoven everywhere. For example, everyone has seen the preview where Constantine gets "dragon's breath", a weapon that is essentially like the magic wand of Agni which doubles as a flame thrower. True, I found that particular instance to be a little hokey, but the way in which it was presented saved it. They didn't bother explaining whether dragon's actually exist on this plain of existence or whether it was just a...uh...descriptive term for the weapon. In fact, there were several other instances in which Constantine uses some artifact without explanation of where it came from or why it does what it does (note that this is a generalization. Several things, such as "the chair" and "the spear" are fully explained, but only when it adds some need-to-know information to the film).

The plot line is sound, but you leave wishing they hadn't cut the movie at 2 hours long. Certain characters, such as Midnight or Belial, could use a little more back story. I would love to get a copy of this on DVD when it comes out, because there will undoubtedly be some amazing deleted scenes fleshing out these complex characters a little.

One of the few downsides to the movie is that it is knowledge intensive. To quote Joe, "There was a lot going on in that movie." Though Joe didn't have a problem with it considering his Catholic school upbringing and I didn't have a problem with it considering the...well....anyways, throughout the movie I heard, "I don't get it...what's that mean?" Steph also mentioned that some of the stuff in there was a little over her head. And again, though I thoroughly enjoyed the fact that they didn't interrupt the flow by explaining the references and origin of all these different symbols and objects, it probably does make it a little difficult to follow for those with little to no experience in religion. Keep in mind, though, that much of the symbolism is not solely Catholic or even monotheistic. Much of the movie is simply based on the occult and, as Joe pointed out, what mankind has done to take their stand as the monkey in the middle.

But I give it 3 and a half stars out of four. It was good, had it's flaws, had it's holes, but what I paid to see was an action flick with lots of special effects. What I did see was a action flick with lots of special effects and an intelligent storyline, not to mention interesting references.

Word of the Day

perspicacity \pur-spuh-KAS-uh-tee\, noun:

Clearness of understanding or insight; penetration, discernment.

• His predictions over the years have mixed unusual aristocratic insight with devastating perspicacity. --"Why fine titles make exceedingly fine writers," [1]Independent, November 3, 1996
  
• Doubtless these thumbnail sketches, like everything else Stendhal wrote, were intended ultimately to relate to his own notion of himself as a creature of invincible perspicacity and sophistication. --Jonathan Keates, [2]Stendhal

_________________________________________________________

Perspicacity comes from Latin perspicax, perspicac-, "sharp-sighted," from perspicere, "to look through," from per, "through" + specere, "to look."

Books

Well, out of the four classes I'm taking this semester, all four had tests this week. But more importantly, all four are now done with and I've got another couple weeks before I have any real work to do academically. That should give me enough time to finish a couple books I've been sitting on. Right now the reading list is as follows:

• The Divine Invasion - Philip K. Dick
• A Short History of Nearly Everything - Bill Bryson (Christmas present from Tiff)
• Speak, Memory - Vladimir Nabokov (one of my favorite authors)
• Quantum Questions - Ken Wilber

If I can find a copy, I'll probably throw Ender's Game on there as well, by the recommendation of Bradley. I bring this up because I just got a gift certificate to Amazon.com, and I'm looking for new areas of literature to read. The top shelf of my bookshelf is reserved for the queued list of books, and I have no problem throwing a couple of these back on that shelf in exchange for something...different. If you have any recommendations, please let me know.

Payable On Death

[Just a thought...I will try to always have the title of my posts linked to some relevant webpages. So feel free to check it out...or not...
Namaste, J.]

Reveal to me the mysteries
Can you tell me what it means?
Explain these motions and metaphors
Unlock these secrets in me
Describe your vision, the meaning is missing
Won't anybody listen?

Define the riddles of my mind
Nothing is strictly what it seems

Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel what I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping Awake
Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel like I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping...

Do you see what I see?
Can you hear what I hear?
Or do you feel like I feel?
Or do you dream like I dream?
Anybody see me?
Anybody hear me?
Anybody feel me?
Anybody out there?!?

--POD, Sleeping Awake

Non-Local Disbelief

[linked title]

So I'm rather disturbed by a class I just had. The title of the class is Evolutionary Psychology, taught by Christianson. It's seminar style, so only about 8 students in the class. There is no book or organized packet of readings, but we read about 100 pages for every class session, which meets twice a week. So here's what happened:

We've been discussing whether the brain has individual modules or a more holistic approach to it's organization. One of the other students starts talking about freewill. She says that it's been recorded using fMRI studies that a person will elicit a response, normally located in the amygdala/hypocampal region a discernible amount of time prior to the subject making the claim that the thought had occurred. This is normally used in choice experiments; thus the choice was made within the brain prior to the subject "deciding" to follow a certain choice. She used this example to illustrate the modularity of the mind, stating that the subcortical regions of the brain controlled all of what we refer to as volition and that it is a closed circuit: The brain modifies itself to elicit different responses depending on the circumstances without "conscious" input from one's Self. Now, I've heard this example used before and it seems rather convincing. However, since I first heard it, I've read a couple other empirical studies that I consider to be negating of this line of reasoning. One of these also uses fMRI neuroimaging to take snap shots of when the brain first becomes activated. However, the study also used galvanic skin response to correlate stress. This is because the experiment itself was set up to show the subject a cartoon drawing randomly chosen from either list 1(inoffensive, bland drawings) or list 2("offensive", highly emotive drawings). But something unexpected occurred and was also seen on subsequent tests for validity. The subject showed galvanic skin responses and activation in the amygdala and hypocampus preceding the display of the violent cartoon...and only the violent cartoon. The subject, viewing just the blank screen waiting for the randomly chosen picture to appear, without any cues or idea whether the picture would be disturbing or banal, had an emotion based stress response. Thus, the same effect was shown without any decision having to be made and without any clues as to a reason to become upset, or show any activation at all for that matter.

Now, here's the upsetting part. I offered this counterargument for the freewill modularity theory proposed by the other student. I didn't offer any reasons or beliefs in why this was the case. Yes, the authors of this study offered a couple possibilities, but since they weren't then empirically tested, I wasn't going to bring them into the equation. All I was there to say was that there could just as easily be a preceding activation of a consciousness based volition as there was with the cartoon drawing. However, as soon as I finished describing the study, everyone looks at me like, "What?!? You expect us to believe time isn't linear?!?" Now, I don't expect them to believe anything, but to have such an adverse reaction to an unexplainable phenomenon was inconceivable to me. This is a 600 level course at Tulane University. There is no reason to outcry or imposition of incredulity simply because the phenomenon is not fully explainable. The beauty of it was that I was not arguing anything about physics or the connections between time, consciousness, and space, but merely making a counterargument to the modularity of the mind. It got played off as a joke and one guy said, "Wait...we can see into the future? Why didn't somebody tell me this!" And that's fine, cause his comment caused me to chuckle a bit, but I felt like my main point wasn't taken seriously at all simply because it was attached to an experiment without a "rational" explanation to the cause. But that's all I've got to say about that, since I'm sure I've already said more than anyone's interest in my ranting could hold.

P.S. I'm currently trying to find the names associated with the study I'm referring to. When I do I'll amend this post to add them in, but I believe they're in the book I loaned to Troy.

Here Comes the Personal Side...

So I've been thinking a lot about graduation. No, I haven't heard back from any college I've applied to, but then again, that doesn't really make a difference. The whole "going to grad school" thing seems so surreal, like it's still a dream from which I'm just waiting to wake up. I honestly can't imagine myself as a philosopher. Perhaps it's the low self-image I have of myself or, more likely, the fact that I'm just waiting for someone to say, "Ahah...I knew you were faking it!" But outside of that whole going on to the next place, I'm starting to realize 1) how much people in my life right now mean to me and 2) how much they've influenced who I am.

This isn't the place to list through who and why I care about the people I do, but it's just on my mind right now. True, it's late and I'm slightly inebriated, but all the same, I'm going to miss this place and the people who make this place what it is.

I don't talk a lot about my past and specifically my high school memories. It's not because I don't have them, but I basically disowned them. All my high school friends went to the same state school(Mizzou). When I came back for that first winter break and more so when I came back for the first summer, I just didn't fit in anymore. It wasn't that I changed while they didn't or they changed while I didn't, but I'd say that they changed as a group, while I changed by myself. I came back to find inside jokes and "oh, that's old news" to the point I couldn't find my place in the conversations, much less their lives. I know my closest friends will end up spread out across the country; Joe will be in Houston, Bradley will be in Seminary, Nick will likely be here, Troy will be at MIT, Heintz will be here but rudely standoffish from it all, and, yes, even Steph belongs to this list now though she'll still be here, too. So I don't expect the same thing to happen as what happened in high school, but I'm still worried about the lack of keeping up with eachother. Afterall, anyone who's been in a different city from me for six months or more knows I suck at keeping contact.

There's a quote that comes in many forms, but something to the extent that "Friends come and go; but for a precious few you should hold on." Well, it's weird looking at where I am now and, based on the experiences I've had in my 22 few years, knowing that my friends number more than a precious few and I'm just concerned for holding on to all of them.

But...perhaps a preface to all this would have been more wise. It's late, I had an amazing weekend, not to mention an eye-opening Tuesday this past week, I'm slightly inebriated, and I'm also listening to the Garden State soundtrack. So...to sum up, pardon the the emotions...

Universes

Click on the title of this post. It will take you to an interesting read regarding random number generators and the effects we can have upon them. Once you read this little piece, I'd highly recommend taking up Radin's book The Conscious Universe (Troy currently has my copy). Keeping in mind that the effects being manipulated are simply the ratio of 1's to 0's, but that the Edinburgh box combines over 40 of these number generators into one simple machine. Thus the averaging effect is huge, giving probabilities against chance that I would take odds on any day. You might find it pointless, or even stupid, but if nothing else it is interesting. But definitely check out Radin's book, or Talbot's The Holographic Universe. For that matter, any book that contains "universe" in the title, such as Hawkins The Universe in a Nutshell or Greene's The Elegant Universe.

Lent

So Joe, Steph, Bradley, Troy and I are sitting around last night to decide what to give up for Lent. Amidst "fast food," "ice cream," "alcohol," and "being an asshole," I chose to give up diet coke(and all cola products). I know it's going to take a toll on my head, cause I was actually drinking quite a bit of it daily and it was also my main source of caffeine. But, I bought some juice and such last night, so we'll see how it goes.

It really shouldn't be too hard, considering about once a year for the past five years I've fasted on nothing but juice and towards the end of those weeks just water. After one week, I'm normally over the headaches and back on a normal sleep schedule, so this week should be the worst of it.

In other news, perhaps insane, perhaps foolish, I'm concurrently giving up smoking. This isn't necessarily associated with Lent, but it's something I needed to start. I don't have any illusions of stopping within the week, but it is at least a start. I normally smoke about a pack a day...a little less normally, but definitely up there. Today I've only had two. I'm holding out as long as possible before I have one, and only have one when I actually have the craving for one as opposed to just habitual(getting in my car, walking to class, after dinner). So we'll see how that goes. For those of you who also want me to quit, here are some things that will help me out:
1) Don't guilt trip me when you see me smoking.
2) Quiet encouragement is the best method.
3) If you're hanging out with me and you see me pull out a cigarette, take into account when I last had one. If it's been awhile(over an hour), assume that I know what I'm doing. If you see me smoke after I just recently smoked, then would be a good time to say, "Hey Jeff, when was the last time you had a cigarette."
4) This will be somewhat difficult. If I'm grumpy or otherwise a pain in the neck, tell me so. Trust me, I don't mean to be.
5) I hope it goes well, but again, I have no illusions that this will be a short road.

But to use a quote from last night, "Come on! We're all fudging on this Lent thing; he's stopping for spring break and I'm not a Christian!"

Just a quote...

...I thought you might enjoy:

And amidst the dust, and the falling things, and the flapping scenery, he made his way in that direction where, to judge by the voices, stood beings akin to him.

Invitation to a Beheading
Vladimir Nabokov

Just A Random Lundi

So it was just a random Monday for me. I worked the front desk this morning, but then I read and took a short nap. Attempted to go to the parades tonight, but it started a downpour soon after we got there. So Heintz, Troy and I decided to head out. I did play quite a few games of chess, though; only lost the last one to Andrew, but it was still good to get the gears rotating again.

So now that I've thoroughly bored all the uninterested, how about a vent? I've been making this CD recently. I'm going to burn it in audio format, so it limits the compilation to around 18 songs. Basically, this is a "This is Jeff" CD, so I'm putting in all the songs that embody me or at least embody how I feel most of the time.

It is quite an experience defining yourself in less than 80 minutes of music. You'd think you could talk about yourself for a long time, but to be concise and exact, that's a different story. It's like the Jimmy Eat World song; "Now's the right time for a good song. Get something to say what I can't. Do you feel bad like I feel bad? Well pour us a road, because on sleepless paths the sleepless pass." So for those of you who'd like to know what's on my list, here's my work in progress.

1. Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams
2. Shades Apart - Stranger by the Day
3. Cowboy Mouth - Laughable
4. Switchfoot - 24
5. Candlebox - It's For You
6. Goldfinger - Superman
7. Eric Clapton - some randon guitar solo
8. Ben Folds - Philosophy
9. A Perfect Circle - Gravity
10. Counting Crows - Mrs. Potter
11. Jeffery Foucault - Miles from the Lightning
12. Switchfoot - Always Something
13. Guster - Come Downstairs and Say Hello

So there you have it. That's the work-in-progress of my "This is Jeff" CD. There will be a couple more additions, but I'm fairly content with the track numbering up to this point. Yeah, there are a couple songs that are topical and a couple songs that are, at least to the extent they can be, life-long. I'll add another post soon explaining some of the reasons for why I feel the way I do right now, but until then...Namaste.

Krewe De Karte 2005; What We've Learned

To make things simpler, we're going to work backwards through the night. I've lived here for four years and I've driven from Loyola and Howard back to campus at least 20 times (twice after Krewe De Karte). But for some strange reason, I exited I-10 and ended up right in front of Tulane Ave, which we turned onto since there was no way through Canal due to parades. So, a couple things happen; I yell some things I shouldn't have, we get to the end of N. Broad St., I start hearing high pitched noises, we drive in a square around City Park, I beat my head on the steering wheel, and then we're just shy of East New Orleans. From there, we made it back in the normal amount of time it takes one to make it back from East New Orleans, minus the wait for the train, of course. For those I made feel bad, I am sorry. For those I scared with the beating of the head, it'll never happen again. And for those who slept through it all...thank you.

The actual Krewe De Karte went surprisingly well, though. Lots of people, lots of booze, very few individuals we had to send home. Couldn't ask for more. Oh, and beautiful weather, too. I even got a bit of a sunburn on my forehead. A few too many fights occurred on the Grassy Knoll, but thankfully no one ended up in central lock-up. Then it got cold. But my car, as previously mentioned, was across the street so I grabbed my blanket out of there, which turned out to facilitate the best part of the night. All in all, though, I'd say it was a successful Shopping Cart Day. But this was the first year we had imitators...and it won't be the last year after the mention in "Where Y'at?"

Regardless, I hope you all had a good time, whether you are in town or back home, rolling with the Krewe or watching from your favorite spot all day.

To use the Zeta Psi (in)famous quote, "Happy Mardi!"

Krewe De Karte 2005

So it's the eve of Krewe De Karte 2005. We'll be boiling 200 lbs. of crawfish over at the house today around 3. Then it's to the neutral ground across from Fat Harry's to watch D'Tat et al. Tomorrow we'll be meeting at the house at 9am. Krewe De Karte rolls at 9:30. We'll be stopping at Napolean around 11 for Iris, then Louisiana around 2 for Tucks, then the long haul to the Grassy Knoll until Endymion is completed. All are invited, of course, but it is a BYOB event. Don't worry, we'll supply the ice.

Krewe De Karte 2004

Krewe De Karte 2003

Krewe De Karte 2002

Posted for your viewing pleasure...

My first Shopping Cart Day...
Posted by Hello

To those thirsty...

So, you found me. Or at least you found my thoughts. I know I started this whole "blog" craze a little late, so pardon me if I make some mistakes. Over the course of my interest in this thing, I will undoubtedly:

1. insult people without realizing it.
2. neglect to mention people without realizing it.
3. forget to post for extended periods without realizing it.
4. wax philosophically and bore you...though I'll probably realize this one.

But, whatever happens, no hard feelings. Feel free to comment, but only if you're deadly blunt. Also, feel free to never view this page again. Trust me, I won't mind.

For what it's worth, though, I'm glad you're here. Hopefully you'll learn something about me or at least the logic of my mind. And for my last disclaimer on this opening post, a quote:

There are trivial truths and there are great truths. The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false. The opposite of a great truth is also true.
--Bohr

So don't believe everything you read -- or believe it, but believe its negation at the same time.