Films about Ghosts

Due to an increase in my free time recently, I've been stumbling a bit. Turns out to at least be somewhat productive, because I come across some interesting short films like the one linked from the title of this post. I've stumbled across some other great sites, too, but instead of popping on to "update" this blog with other people's ideas and films, I've just started a collection of short films right beneith the links section in the sidebar.

As an update from last night's post, I did wake up at 5:45 this morning (actually, 3:40...I never could get back to sleep) to go to the Spinning class at Reily. Really kicked my ass. I kept up with the class for the first half. Though I stayed on the bike for the entirety of the session, I had to drop out of the up/downs and could only barely keep an effort on for the sprints. But a first day is a first day. I'll pace myself a little better on Thursday and after getting used to the changes in cadence, hopefully I'll get the hang of things.

An Interview with God

Click on the title of this post.

9th Day

This is the ninth day without a cigarette. As ASH knows, I was really craving one last night. But as I described to him, it's all about triggers now. After that 3rd or 4th day, when the random cravings stopped, it's just been in certain situations that I've felt like having a cigarette would feel really good. Understandable last night, as ASH and I went to the Bulldog. For lack of anything better to do, we had four pints instead of the normal one round each. We were about to stick around for another two rounds, but instead decided to go play Shot Soul Caliber (yeah...go figure.) Anyways, it was a good night and even though the triggers were there to drink, the cravings pass in about the time it would have taken to smoke a cigarette.

Also, I'm keeping with the work-out plan. Living over here in Willow really makes it easy to stumble over to Reily when I'm bored (even this morning, after sleeping on ASH's couch last night). Working with ASH yesterday on chest and tri's kicked my ass. But I went back today and, on my own, did my back and bi's. Yeah, that'll probably hurt tomorrow, too, but it's good to have that feeling of productivity again. Actually invokes a little bit of nostalgia for when I took care of my body back in high school. We'll see if I still have as positive an outlook after the 6:15am Spinning class tomorrow.

To sum up, things are good. I think I'm going to be detoxing this weekend, so I will probably call in a disappearing act. But in the meantime, I'm up for whatever this week. Give me a call, shoot me an IM, or send word on the ether. Till then...

Namaste'

Silence from the Mirrored Souls of my feet

A hunter of shadows, himself a shade. ~Homer

..........blink.........

Summer Rhythm

Tomorrow JMD will be leaving town. Counting Shelbs on Sunday, Steph on Tuesday, MBB on Wednesday, and CJB this morning, that's five best friends who've left town this week. It's really going to sink in this weekend when it's just down to a few of us. On top of that, we're all doing our own thing this summer, with either employed, lab stuff, or, in my case, hours of reading material to get a jump on next year.

Besides that, health is good. I'm going to be working out 5 or so days a week this summer. Maybe ASH and I can hit up the gym on a couple of those days per week for some weight training, but a main part is going to simply be cardiovascular and fat burning. No, I'm not concerned about looking good (well, maybe just a little bit), but I am concerned about taking care of the past four years of hell I put my body through. Anyways, that should work well.

On top of that, having just completed my 5th day without one inhalation of cigarette smoke, this should be a productive summer. I'm also making just enough money to skate by through June so that I can get to Colorado and back. Maybe starting in July I'll get a second job to save up for the following school year, but in the meantime, I'm going to make good use of my free time.

Also, for that esoteric side I have been neglecting, I'll get back to it soon. I'm reading a little Voltaire and then I've got a consciousness book I'm going to sink my teeth into, so there'll hopefully be some interesting reads once the summer settles down into its own rhythm.

(Also, just remember that the titles of these posts are always linked to something of relevance. As for the Tarot Court Card post earlier, it's title goes to the website I got that from. Most of the time it pertains, to some degree, of what my post is about. Other times it's simply a treat for my readers : )

57 Hours

It has been over 57 hours since I had my last cigarette. JMD, MBB and I all put out our last cigarettes at midnight on Saturday night. Figured that the end of an era was just as good a time as any to quit a bad habit.

The three of us obviously have a lot of support from our friends, but more importantly we don't have the opprotunity to break the trend. Without a spare pack sitting around, as was always the case when one of us tried to quit without the other two, there's not that temptation to just have that one to ease the transition.

Anyways, I know MBB will keep it up as he's going to camp this summer then seminary starting next fall. I hope JMD also keeps it up, even though I'd owe him $20 if he makes it. As for me, it is going to be difficult once the guys leave. True, I still won't have that access to the random cigarette, but it provides that 5 minutes of "Jeff time" when I need a break in the day. Writing papers and reading is going to be difficult, as it always gave the opprotunity to reconsolidate my thoughts and digest the material I just went over. But regardless, I'm going to keep with it. I'm expecting the desire to have a random cigarette to be gone by the end of this weekend, though I'll still probably get the cued response from bars, writing papers, etc. for awhile.

Graduation

Tulane University

On this recommendation of the Faculty of the

Paul Tulane College

The Administrators of the Tulane Educational Fund

have this day conferred upon

J B P

the degree of

Bachelor of Science

with all the rights, honors, and privileges appertaining thereto.

Given at New Orleans, in the State of Louisiana

May twenty-first, Two thousand and five.

G minus 2 days...

The Thursday before I graduate with a B.S. in Philosophy and Psychology went perfectly (note to the more esoteric readers: the next few days will simply be personal experiences regarding my graduation. I will not feel offended if you choose not to read through Monday.) My parents and I went out for some Rocky's pizza for lunch. Go figure, I meant all along to tell them about my acceptance into graduate school over lunch, and I forgot. Thus, we're out at Lakeside Mall, my mom is shopping in Dillard's and my dad and I are sitting on a bench when he asks me, "So how long does it take for a committee to meet?" I get a huge grin on my face and he realizes I already know the committee's decision. Both my parents were just as happy (if not more so) than I was last night when I got the news.

We didn't really do too much else today. As mentioned above, we went to Lakeside mall, then ended up at Superior Grill for dinner, followed by a few hours relaxing and chatting in my room. After they left tonight I went and met up with Shelby's family. I'd never met her dad before, but he ended up being a really funny guy. And, as always, her mom was a blast to be around. All of us, including ASH, went out to the Pub. This was shortly added to by Joe, Steph, Joe's mom and Aunt. Joe's mom and Shelby's mom hit it off just as expected. Anyways, the night ended perfectly and now I've just taken a shower (mental image..............ok, back to the story) and now to get some sleep before meeting up with my parents around 8am for breakfast.

Don't know exactly what tomorrow brings, but hopefully some more good food and a happy hour run. Tomorrow night my parents and I are eating dinner with Shelby and Joe's family, which should be interesting. Fun...enjoyable...but interesting none-the-less.

But for now, to bed.

And One

It's official. I got an e-mail from Prof. B. letting me know that "the committee has recommended I be admitted to the 4+1 graduate program." I'm going to be here next year and will eventually leave Tulane with a Masters in Philosophy!

This is the perfect beginning to a weekend of celebration!

Regalia

I just picked up my cap and gown today. This approaching change is definitely starting to come into conscious awareness. I think I've been worried about what's going to happen next year for so long now that I have failed to notice that this year is coming to an end. Thankfully, and I guess hopefully, I haven't neglected my friends because of that. In fact, I'd say it's somewhat of the opposite.

There is something very poignant that happens during graduations; everyone builds friction. MBB pointed this out yesterday. It's a tested, psychological defense mechanism for individuals to create friction and, in its more dramatic stages, conflict with those that are closest to them. The end of the year is coming, everyone is going their own ways, the individual doesn't want to have such a strong attachment and longing for his friends who he can't see or hang out with as in the past four years. By breaking down the relationships of those closest to him, he believes he saves himself pain. Well...fuck that.

MBB, in his classic self-actualized manner, has been doing just the opposite (mind you, without drawing attention to that fact). And taking from his lead, as I have many times in the past, this is going to be the ideal ending to four years of sorrow, heartache, absurdities, improv, connections, brotherhood, pain and effort, reward and celebration, and a little bit of academics.


To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the seasons of mist; may each of us walk as a ghost into the fog.

Our Impatient Eyes

I'm not a fan of people apologizing in an impersonal way. And as blogs are severely impersonal, as ironic as it may be, I won't bother with drawn out apologies or excuses for my absence.

I will say, though, that the two topics I've been dealing with are still are on the table. Some bad news came my way in regards to the 4+1 program for Philosophy. Seems that my major GPA in Philosophy may prevent me from getting into the program. Go figure...I take nearly all my Philosophy major requirements my freshman and sophomore year and get an under par GPA, while my second major in Psychology was basically taken during my junior and senior year with flying colors. There's no decision yet on admittance into the program, but I should hear back tomorrow, Wednesday by the latest.

And I feel like I'm setting myself up for failure. I mentioned in my last useful post that I got hired back on with Housing. I'll now say that it was for the ARD-Ops position in Monroe (the job I currently hold). Well, I talked with Dave on Friday, and they may be looking to give me a little something more next year. So now I've been offered a better job, more responsibility, a bit more in the pay department if I understand it correctly, and yet it just builds me up higher to crash down further if this 4+1 doesn't work out.

In the meantime, I am enjoying the week before graduation. I have a lot of time to spend doing nothing but hanging out with my best friends. It's that comfortable feeling of simply being around eachother without the necessity of knowing exactly what you're going to do in the next hour (with a few exceptions during dinner time...) But for now, I believe I could use a little solitude...to think...to read...to blink out of existence...

Tarot Court Cards

Your Astrological Court Card
Knight of Cups

Astrological Sign: Scorpio
Element: Water
Personality: magnetic, sexual, complex, spiritual, in control, overpowering, intense
Most suitable vocations: psychic, clairvoyant, detective, physician, stockbroker, dentist, counsellor, actor
Most suitable lover: Queen of Pentacles – Capricorn, Virgo, and Taurus

=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=.=

Your Personality Court Card
Knight of Wands

Element: Fire
Personality: outspoken, direct, charismatic, blunt, instinctive, easily bored, subject to wandering
Most suitable vocations: athlete, politician, teacher, instructor, philosopher, inventor, musician
Most suitable lover or partner: Queen of Swords – Gemini, Libra, Aquarius

My Conscious Mind

As an update to the most boring line of posts...

Prof. Z. is writing me a letter of recommendation. Prof. F. also got back to me and will be writing a letter as well. I contacted Prof. Golob in the Psych department, because, let's face it, a letter of recommendation from the Psych department can't hurt.

I did get hired on with Housing. I'll disclose the location and title of my position at a later time, not because I can't be public with it right now, but because I'd prefer not to until everything is settled.

I have a couple more things to do, then I'm turning in my application and sitting back and waiting for a response. And that's that. Done and done. Fin.

In other news, closing is kicking my ass. It is extremely hard to compile lists from 21 RAs when five things on each list change daily. It's nobody's fault, but the system is simply hard to handle. But that should settle down in the next couple days and, hopefully, by the weekend things should flow like clockwork.

Otherwise, I'm just in the process of getting some finals out of the way. Two Thursday are in class, the studying for which is what tomorrow is for. Tonight and Thursday night I'll be writing my take home for Buddhism. Then I'm essentially done. I've got a paper to turn in on Sunday, but I just revised it last week and just a few minor changes are needed now, so I'm not really counting that. So I'll be done Friday at noon.

Sorry for the boring, personal update, but I'll get back to some cool stuff soon. Especially after I start reading "The Conscious Mind," by Chalmers, which the Philosophy department gave to all their graduating seniors. Looks pretty interesting. Anyways, back to work.