Monday, November 28

The Tipping Point

Deek wrote:
Jeff want to rage against the society that beget him. He knows that he is smarter than the majority of the people in the world. But instead of reveling in it, doing drugs, having wild sex, and making mad cash he wants to push the envelope and see what lies beyond it.

He dreams of finding some philosophical truth or possibly some group uber-elite that manipulate the people that run the world. But to do this he must fight the instincts that draw him to the good life, the easy life, the sexual life. For these are the things that anchor him in a static worldview. But to break this, he must rage against not only the world but also much of himself. This is why he is morose so often but giddy on occasions when he gives into these instincts, only to feel guilty and morose again when he remembers.

At least, that's what I got from the two line quote.

- Deek

P.S. I bullshat most of that.


Bravo! That was an entirely insightful assessment. It was wrong (or so I think), but that doesn't mean it wasn't insightful. Given who I was the last time we lived in the same city, I concede you would have pegged the 1,000 sided figure into the 1,000 sided hole. But, alas, there's a tipping point with people like you and me. And while on one side of the fulcrum our instincts lead us away from the ether and towards wild sex, drugs, and lots of money, there comes a point where we cross over. I agree that my morose-ness was likely caused by my passions for the higher good conflicting with the pull from an earthly umbilical cord feeding me Jack Daniels and the memory of an electrical closet at Ampersands. However, I'm afraid the situation has worsened. For now my instincts lead directly to the "other side of things."

I don't doubt that the ivory tower has some effect on this, but I'd say it is more so the solitude and, um, other practices I partake in. But the result is that my instincts now drive me away from the "world that beget" me. As strong as that pull may be, as many glimpses of the IS that I receive, I feel as though I now have to fight those instincts to stay connected to the world that is static. But, you gotta admit, the place where there is no stable ground and everything blinks and pops...pretty damn cool. But I am losing the connection here. I find it even harder to communicate; not for lack of anything to say, but for lack of a desire to talk about the weather. And don't think I'm against going back down that rabbit hole towards the fire-lit shadows. I'm all about that. But it's that initial blindness when re-descending that's causing me troubles at the moment. I suppose it'll pass. And, from everything I've so far seen, the passing from one side to the other becomes easier as the trips become numerous.

But you do bring up a helpful suggestion. Maybe what I need to help those transitions are a few mushrooms and a couple experiences which would put my previous stories to shame. Though, a maximum occupancy of 3 will be firmly in place this time around.


Post Scripts...

Sunday, November 27

Alpha+ Instincts

I'm so sick of these terrible instincts,
It's so hard now just to fight them.

Saturday, November 26

Really Away

Just a warning; I won't be able to update this for the next week or maybe a little longer. This is going to be an intense end of the semester for me. As such, I'll give a decent update when it's over. Till then...

Namaste'.

Away

I put the following up as an away message on AIM recently. Several people have told me how much they like this quote, so I'm now posting it here. Let me know what you think;

"Now, there are many, many people in the world, but relatively few with whom we interact, and even fewer who cause us problems. So, when you come across such a chance for practicing patience and tolerance, you should treat it with gratitude. It is rare. Just as having unexpectedly found a treasure in your own house, you should be happy and grateful to your enemy for providing that precious opportunity."

-His Holiness the Dalai Lama

Post Scripts...

Wednesday, November 23

Through the Veil

God said hold no false idols. I like that, but doesn't quite hold the punch of Zen Master Lin Chi; "If you see the Buddha on the road, kill him." But, then again, we have the classic defense, "Don't kill the messanger." This is normally said by those who wish the importance and praise but not the responsibility of going down the rabbit hole. Me? I'd let the messanger live, but outside of throwing him a pence or two, I wouldn't give a damn. Afterall, if you were imparting knowledge to the world, would you want them paying attention to the knowledge, or you?

So why has my week gone extremely well? To answer one hypothesis, no. It is unfortunate, but I still have not been on the recieving end of any action. For that matter, I haven't been on the giving end, either. But no matter, because luck is on my side. And where there's luck, there's the chance of getting lucky.

It hasn't been all sunshine. Mainly because it's snowing here already and the sun sets at 4:30 in the afternoon. But, I've also been pretty swamped with term papers. While one was in the process of being completed last week, another was in the process of being repeatedly shreaded by the professor. But, it looks like both will turn out well. I presented my epistemology term paper at the conference this weekend. It wasn't a real conference, but it served its purpose. I got the feedback I needed to hone the paper down a little bit, and the inspiration I needed to get that honing done by the first of January. I'm going to be submitting this paper to the Mid-South Conference, which is in late February in Memphis. I'm also going to be submitting it to the Wash U. epistemology graduate conference, which has a deadline around the same time but I don't remember when it actually takes place. I won't get ahead of myself, here, but it seemed to me that the reaction I got for the paper showed promise.

After a lengthy and circular conversation last night, the second term paper finally has footing. As my professor says, I've "left the reservation" with my paper topic, but he approves of it. Just a bit further in the psychological spectrum than we convered in class this semester. But, this weekend I'll be working on that when I'm not serving tables, so it should have a decent start.

I have the logic comprehensive exam next Friday, an in class epistemology final a week from Monday, and my term paper for philosophy of science due a week from Wednesday. Then I'm done for the semester and have, litterally, a month and a half to kill before school starts back up. A wedding and a trip home should make that a little easier to take, but expect me to be very, very bored come the new years.

Anyways, sorry for the lack of good stories or thoughts to ponder. Though, I did try with that whole false idols thing (click the title of the post). Anyways, Happy Thanksgiving! Just remember, during the whole prayer thing, when you start thinking you should be telling God how great he is, how powerful he is...well, God already knows that stuff...and people are hungry.

Post Scripts...

Tuesday, November 22

Thanksgiving

Sorry I'm been lacking interesting posts, and for that matter, posts at all. I've gotta say, though, Life has just been too good to me lately. Sure, I've been swamped with philosophical obligations, but...damn...

I'll give a decent post very soon that'll update and hopefully expound a little bit.

Monday, November 21

Forbidden Love

SLC has impeccable timing. I know I posted this same quote, or at least the link to the full article, right after Katrina hit. But, as it's been a nostalgic couple of days, reading this on her AIM profile just hit home.

"For those of us lucky enough to have come of age in New Orleans -- even more than for the tourist who falls for her instantly -- the decadent majesty of the city is like a forbidden love. You want desperately to explain the depths of your enchantment, but you know in your heart that others will acknowledge it merely as an easy infatuation or a passing fling. You know they will never awaken at night drunk on the coffee-and-banana fragrance of her docks or the beery sweat of her pre-dawn streets or the humid hum of her streetcar summers. How could they ever understand the depth of your passion?"


Post Scripts...

Mindless...Thankfully Mindless

So...who's ready for another mindless online social network?!? Ok, so a friend of mine let me know about this link, and I had a couple minutes to kill. I know...I suck. But, having spent 16 hours in a classroom this weekend for an epistemology conference and having another term paper in progress, I needed some mindless productivity. Anyways, here's me, and here's xuqa.com.

Tuesday, November 15

Love...what a pity

As posted on GrumpStump in the Love forum:
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It was out of pity, really, that I decided to post in this forum. Looking down the list of forums, Love was the only one without any attention.

And I guess that's a good enough framework for the analogy; (cue Titanic soundtrack) maybe that's all love really is. You find that "special" individual who happens to be just pitiful enough to fall for you. They need you, like you need them...a symbiotic relationship where, if we had a caste system, neither of you would be upsetting your parents.

The powerful date the powerful, the intelligent date the intelligent, the Captain Kirk's of the world date...uh...whatever the female Trekkies dress up as when they go to conventions.

Proximity? Nay! In this global village we live in, anyone peek through your bedroom windows. Things in common? Nay! Opposites attract, the need to challenge one-another, boredom through a repetitious life style; pick your reason. But...just maybe...na, it couldn't be...but, yes, an individual just picks his/her mate based on the best they can get.

It's a law of nature. The problem is the stratification between the different "best I can get"'s out there in the world is growing. Partly due to the high cost of condoms (cough) and the inability of trailer trash to afford proper birth control. Partly due to the urban planning and engineered segregation. But mainly due to the fact that we're animals. There is no cupid crapping in his pants 4 feet above your head. You simply shun the omega male, lust after Ashton Kutcher, but settle for your hierarchically similar Tobey Maguire.

By the way, I'm currently single.
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Feel like I'm in the wrong? Feel like I'm in the right? Let me know by going to www.grumpstump.com and posting a reply. You can post as a guest or spend 20 seconds to decide an ID name for yourself. Of course, you're also welcome to post a comment here, if you like.

Post Scripts...

Thursday, November 10

On Achievement

EML: gonna write a book?
jbpretti: no, just experimenting
EML: frank wants to write a book
EML: i guess a lot of people do...I haven't thought about it since I was a kid
jbpretti: it was just fun...I might keep up with it out of entertainment value
jbpretti: I'd recommend it
EML: I wrote seven chapters of a book when i was in middle school, but it was stupid and I didn't plan out the plot beforehand, so it just got insane.
jbpretti: yeah...those are the books for me
jbpretti: and the writing style for me
jbpretti: once a plot is set the book is already written...where's the fun in that?

Post Scripts...

Tuesday, November 8

Autobiographical

I recently submitted a couple stories to my friend's GrumpStump. I've received a couple positive comments on them, not only for their content, but the manner in which they're told as well. So, let us suppose that there is more of the following. Would you continue reading?

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It was snowing outside. Having received this information, most people require a second opinion. After the initial disbelief, they'd go to the window, pull apart the shades, get close enough to leave their mark in exhaust, and see for themselves. But when he told her about the state of the world, she didn't even open an eye. She simply lay there, smothered in the pillows, duvets, and other heavy feminine bedding she slept under year-round. In a long-past-hopeful plea, she invited him under the covers with her. But he just wiped away his own mark he had left on the window and, knowing she'd already fallen back asleep, headed into the study.

He never could sleep. And it wasn't just the heavy blankets making him feel claustrophobic. Sleeping meant he wouldn't be the one disbelieved in seeing the first snow of the season. It was the chance to breathe the air not bothered by the slumbering world. To be the only one awake was, for him, to be the only one in this reality. That, and when he slept, he couldn't help but to see the other side of things.

So, instead, he retreated to his study. He was wrapped in a loose knit, burnt orange sweater. This happened to be the same color as his goatee, the only hair on his otherwise shaved head. And though he had convinced himself the duvet was likely a better defense against the late November draft, his favorite sweater, supplemented with a sweatshirt blanket, would suffice this early morning.

As is likely obvious, this had been his modus operandi since his high school days. And though he could no longer remember why he originally cut down to a non-existent sleep cycle, he was well-hearsed in the reasons for sustaining it. He had had to explain himself to the somnambulistic skeptic so many times, his reasoning had become concise and flawless...
----

Please do me a favor and leave comments. I have a severe lack of a hobby right now, and if my writing style is appealing, maybe I could start working on plot and character development (it's not really autobiographical). Anyways, it's just something I was playing around with.



Post Scripts...

Sunday, November 6

Ubiquitous update

It was a good weekend. I won't bore you with the details of the Field Museum or my attempt at entertaining my parents. But suffice it to say that I had a good time, I assume they had a good time, and now I've got a lot of catching up to do.

Unfortunately, I don't really have any good stories or thoughts of late. It's a little hard to transition back to my own life, now. Not that I'm not me with my parents, but I take it anyone reading this would know what I mean. Anyways, it's time to get serious again with school, as I've got two term papers that need to be in working, presenting order in a couple weeks. Final drafts, and grades, aren't till the first of December, but could use some constructive criticism from the presentations.

As such, who knows what'll pop into my head to write about. I've got a lot floating around in the grey fog, but nothing too concrete. Will write later when I have something to do other than drone on about writing.

Namaste'.

Wednesday, November 2

The Grump Stump

One of my best friends just created a new website. It's basically a forum where you can rant, comment on other's rants, and read/submit good stories. The title of this post is linked to it, and I suggest checking it out. He just got it up and running yesterday, so its both a work-in-progress and in need of some starter rants.

Below I've posted two "grumps", one I posted and one another of my best friends, DJL, posted (respectively) to give you an idea of the content found. His is a much more entertaining rant, but any writing style is welcomed, as you can see by the difference in these two posts:

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[In the Life catagory]
The Catagorization Inherent in Aging
So I was thinking about this tonight, as I sat with my hot neighbor drinking a Killians at a towny bar. The age of acceptence is over.

In high school, there were the jocks, the nerds, the student council, the cheerleaders, the hicks...Everyone belonged to their group. They were comfortable there, existed there, and outside of the necessities of group projects and commonalities in pep-rallies and the brawls with the rival highschool, the groups were indepentent entities.

Then came college. While the stereotypes might have simply changed, the implications of those stereotypes fell away. There were the frat boys, the student government, those going on to grad/law/medical school, the groupies...But everyone was accepting of everyone else. Maybe it was the liberal atmosphere, maybe it was the fact that we were all trying to find ourselves, but it was an open situation. You could adapt, fit in, get along with whatever group you found yourself in. In essense, people hung out just to hang out.

But now -- from the perspective of having one foot in the real world, one foot second teir of the ivory tower -- I see it as reverting back to the old ways. True, it's not so broad of stereotypes, but I attribute it to everyone having "found themselves" and existing solely in thier own realm. True, it might simply be that the real world is a bit less liberal (socially, not politically) than the college scene, but what changed so drastically as to keep individuals from new experiences?

In sum, I'd like to say it really gets to me how people find age 24 as the end of life. They've stopped learning, and further stopped trying to learn. They've stopped seeking, and further stopped trying to seek. They've stopped loving, caring, accepting, trying, living, and further...well, maybe that's just the way things are.

Give me your response to this; am I just jaded and cynical? Or has anyone else noticed this diamond shaped society of stereotypes, acceptance, sub-stereotypes?

Namaste'

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[In the Daily Grump catagory]
Government should not trump Darwinism
For some inexplicable reason this thought has not been able to leave my mind. Finally an outlet! Here goes:

So in the course of my current job I get to see the inside of the trunk of numerous 05/06 automobiles. They all have one thing in common, a glow in the dark piece of plastic with a wire connected to it. On this piece of plastic is a picture. Now these pictures vary, but most are crude drawings of children. I was puzzled for a few seconds until I realized it was a "safety" release switch the purpose of which is to let you out of the trunk if you happen to be in it when it closes.

If you happen to find yourself inside the trunk of a car, you do not deserve to get out until you are let out.

I mean, is there some sort of pandemic (that word seems to be popular at the moment) of people getting locked in the trunk of cars that there is a need for this release switch? I know many of you are thinking..."But what if children climb in? What if you're forced into the trunk at gunpoint? What if you're drunk at the time?" I will now procede to dubunk these objections.

Objection #1 Children

Fuck the children. I'm sick of this shit. Was there a safety release switch in my parents 1986 Chevy Cavalier? No. Did this leave me stranded in said Cavalier's trunk for hours on end? No. Why? I was never stupid enough to climb into the trunk and close it. And neither were my friends...it simply wasn't an issue. The types of children that get in the trunk of a car and close it are the same people that grow up and as adults get in the trunk of a car and close it. It is my position that the world can do with significantly less of these people.

Objection #2 Forced confinement in trunk

This one's easy. If someone is intent on keeping a "hostage"/"girlfriend" locked in the trunk of their car, they will simply cut the wire to the release switch. So does a trunk release switch help in matters of involuntary confinement? No. Well...unless the confiner was stupid enough not to cut the switch in the first place....but that type of oversight on the criminals part shows a distinct lack of planning...so they will probably get caught in the long run...and the confinee gets released form the trunk...No harm no foul.

Objection #3 "I was drunk at the time"

Yeah...I get pissed at this one. People get drunk and do stupid shit all the time. Sometimes their lives are inconvenienced/ended. It is my position that the second you hoist that 10th drink, you have signed off on any type of protection from your immediate (and sometimes not so immediate) surroundings.

And thats all I got....I'm spent

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Post Scripts...

Link : {title}.go!

I recieved a couple interesting responses to my previous post. As a general rule, I always link the title of my posts to something relevant (or random, which is normally still relevant to the post in its randomness). The title of the blasphamous jokes post is directed to amazon.com's page for the book Illusions, by Richard Bach. Regardless of whether you enjoyed or got pissed off at my comment, if you found them interesting at all, I highly recommend this book. Anyways, this is a cop-out for writing a real post, but maybe after I have a couple drinks (with other people, this time) tonight, I'll expound some.

Namaste'.

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